At this time last...

Many people talk about the past two years being a bit of a blur. Many don't remember quite when anything happened as it was spent doing the same thing, often at home during the ongoing Covid changes and uncertain sameness we have all navigated during this pandemic.  As you know that has not been the case for me - for which I am grateful. I am grateful that I have been able to travel and see people and places. I have been thinking a lot about where I have been in the past two years but also in the past several decades... 

30 years ago at this time I was about to wander from Seattle to Pullman and begin my education at Washington State University.

20 years ago at this time, I had completed my Counseling degree and was working at my first counseling/therapist job.

10 years ago at this time, I had just returned from three months in Thailand and was about to move from North Carolina to Washington DC to begin working for USAID and the KonTerra Group.

Three years ago, I had just left DC for four months in the fields of Maehongson to do the whole rice growing season - a long held dream of mine. 

Two years ago today, accompanied by my friend Mark, I left DC in a Budget rental truck to move my possessions back to Seattle - a journey across the country at the height of Covid uncertainty. It was a smaller truck with a few less plants than the East bound journey to North Carolina 13 years earlier. 

One year ago I was in Thailand, locked down for the most part in Bangkok due to Covid restrictions but finding life and renewal in spite of everything.

Two months ago, after a stop in Seattle, two months in the UK, another stop in Seattle and then another three months in Thailand I returned to Seattle again where I'll be based for the next stretch. 

Much of the past fourteen years of wanderings have been documented here in this blog. Thanks for continuing to wander with me and accompanying me on the journey. I don't take it for granted. Over the last three years the following John O'Donohue poem has stayed with me as companion and reminder.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;

Now your soul has come, to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up

To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain

When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,

Taking time to open the well of color

That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone

Until its calmness can claim you.

Be excessively gentle with yourself.

John O'Donohue

Excerpt from the blessing, 'For One Who is Exhausted'

BENEDICTUS (Europe) / TO BLESS THE SPACE BETWEEN US (US)

Duncan

Kabul

I didn't know what to expect when I arrived in Kabul. It's technically still a war zone. American's are flown by helicopter from the airport to the US embassy compound inside the green zone. My flight  from Dubai to to Kabul was remarkably empty, with no kids or families. That seemed to confirm that my latest work destination was going to be a little different. BUT, my return flight a week later was packed full of families and children leaving a very very different impression - one that I was happy to take with me. It felt like Disneyland - and apparently that is what most flights in and out of Kabul are like. I think my first flight was on a religious day where few were travelling. As usual, I can't share that much of my work. I couldn't take any photos once I was there but I got a few as we flew in to this capital city that sits at about 6000 feet elevation surrounded by stark mountains. Here are a few thoughts...

I arrived in Kabul the evening of the recent wedding attack that killed over eighty people, injuring hundreds more. (Weddings in Afghanistan are huge celebrations with hundreds to over a thousand attending.) This attack lingered throughout the week as a backdrop to my time and an illustration of the challenges that so many face in a country that the US is still technically fighting a war. Insecurity and attacks of all sorts are still common and the threat to those that work for Western organizations is extremely high. 

Those I was with this past week risk their lives every day to go to work to help build a more peaceful and stable Afghanistan. They don't know if they will return at night to see their children and their families. Their stories of trauma and grief are only rivaled by their courage to keep showing up. The morning after the wedding attack, everyone was at work. I told them that if a suicide bomber killed eighty people in Washington DC, people wouldn't return to work for weeks. It would take years for us to recover. Every time I led a session on stress and resilience I said that my local Afghan colleagues should be leading it. They know something about resilience and thriving that most of us will never know. Their fortitude is sustained by faith and by family, the bedrock of their society. 

The memories and backdrop of the wedding attack will linger as another layer of trauma for them and a difficult memory for me but what I will remember about my very short week in Afghanistan are the beautiful stark mountains that surround Kabul, the roses and beautiful flowers  in the compound I stayed that the local gardeners take so much pride in, the beautiful green farm land outside of Kabul that I saw photos of...I will remember the anguish and struggle so many face over the opportunity to leave for a new home that offers the opportunity of safety and peace or to remain with family in Afghanistan, continuing to build a more peaceful country, but at the risk of their life and their family. But mostly I will remember the faces of those who have experienced such great tragedy and loss - loss that I will never understand - and yet they choose to continue living, refusing, as Rumi writes, to be a 'caravan of despair.' I will remember their stories of great sadness as well as those of great courage, strength and beauty. 

Duncan

PS The Sewing Circles of Herat by Christina Lamb is a great book that will give you much insight into Afghanistan.

Christmas 2018

Ten years ago we spent Christmas in South Africa, three months into our nine month wander around the world, a journey that ultimately led us to North Carolina for three years and then Washington DC. This is the tenth year we have created our collage card capturing a few of our favourite photos from the year - something we first did after returning from our wanderings 10 years ago.  A lot has happened in the past decade. Whether you have walked with us all this time or are a new friend, know that we are grateful for your friendship as you have accompanied us on our wanderings.

Our card this year features photos primarily taken from our Bali trip. To see most of our other cards from past years go here. 

I have lots of thoughts as we end this year, another tumultuous year in this country and around the world, but I'll simply close wishing you peace and hope with this poem brought to my attention from my friends at Street Psalms. For the full link go here.

Our mission is to plant ourselves at the gates of Hope—
Not the prudent gates of Optimism,
Which are somewhat narrower.
Not the stalwart, boring gates of Common Sense;
Nor the strident gates of Self-Righteousness,
Which creak on shrill and angry hinges
(People cannot hear us there; they cannot pass through)
Nor the cheerful, flimsy garden gate of
“Everything is gonna’ be all right.”
But a different, sometimes lonely place,
The place of truth-telling,
About your own soul first of all and its condition.
The place of resistance and defiance,
The piece of ground from which you see the world
Both as it is and as it could be
As it will be;
The place from which you glimpse not only struggle,
But the joy of the struggle.
And we stand there, beckoning and calling,
Telling people what we are seeing
Asking people what they see.

- Victoria Safford

10 Years - A Decade in Motion

A quick note/update...

Long time readers of this blog will know that ten years ago we began a journey that still continues to this day, for what journey truly ends? It's a journey that in its initial year took us to Europe, South Africa and then Asia over the course of nine months. Of course for me, the journey began many years prior, growing up in South East Asia - a place that still holds my heart - and for Andrea, in 2005 when her heart was gripped by the issue of human trafficking and she dedicated herself to paying attention to this issue. This led to her decision to return to graduate school and three years in North Carolina which ultimately led us both to Washington DC where she continues in that work and I support humanitarians and diplomats who strive to make the world a better, healthier place. 

In our very first blog post, ten years ago, we wrote that  as we packed up our house in Tacoma and drove away in silence, we reflected on our years there and the community that we loved and were leaving without knowing what the future held. A lot has happened in the past ten years...it's interesting to pause and remember and look back on the miles traveled... 63 beds that first year of wandering...three amazing years in North Carolina...internships for Andrea in Geneva and Boston...and then to Washington DC...employment changes and opportunities...lots and lots of travel wanderings...and two weeks ago moving into our new home where we look forward to being part of a neighborhood and community and I can do a little digging in our garden patch.

It's interesting to note that it's been ten years since we lived in a place that that we called our 'own' and now literally ten years to the day we left, we are back in our new 'own' place. Here's to what lies ahead and the continued journey. 

Duncan

Christmas 2017

This year...has been a challenging year for many, ourselves included. We have worked at strengthening our supports - seeking community, finding a new church, enjoying our apartment, focusing on what is important - but even this has been hard at times. Recently I heard someone talking about how moments of grace and hope can often be found in the wilderness. She encouraged us to look for signs of hope noting that often those that most embody hopefulness in the wilderness have several things in common:

1. They have fully accepted that they are in the wilderness - even if they don't like it. They are not going to spend one more ounce of energy railing that the wilderness exists but rather they simply ask where God is in the midst and how am I supposed to live?

2. They are able to speak the hardest truth in a way that everyone can hear - not just appealing to either side - See Bryan Stevenson, Shane Claiborne and others.

3. They have tapped into something that sustains them - they keep following, looking, reminding all of us that this is not the end of the story.

I admit I have spent much of this year, not being able to do #1 even while I hold to #3 that what we see around us is not the end of the story. May it be so. 

This year our card has a few moments and reminders of hope, of breath, of peace and goodness - all things we long for as we wait and anticipate. 

Merry Christmas!

Duncan and Andrea

Quite the year...

If you were wondering if we created a card this past year (something we have done for the past 8 years)...we did, but time ran out and it didn't get posted for Christmas/New Year. Between Andrea and I, we traveled to 15 countries this past year but only two of them together. Our travel was the main takeaway from this past year, and there is much we are learning as a result. It was quite the year. A few travel highlights are captured in the two versions of our card below. We are happy to report that today we are embarking on a journey together for our "get out of the freezing cold winter" escape. Stay tuned. Here's to another year. #plantflowers

Christmas 2015

This is the 7th year we have created a collage card to send to family and friends and to remember special moments from the year. Highlights of this year included a trip to Ireland in September, Duncan's trip to India in March and a work trip for Andrea that took her to several countries. We are grateful to know that the work we do can and is making a difference.

I am grateful for the reminder that "in those days" there was much fear and division in the world, not unlike we face today, BUT "on this day," because of this day, there can be a new way forward, a different possibility and the reminder - Do Not be Afraid! (Luke 2:1-20 Thanks Dottie Younger)

GK Chesterton writes, "Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home." So on this day that we remember a middle eastern family that was looking for a place to stay and the good news that came on this day, my hope and prayer is for peace and safety and justice for all.

Duncan and Andrea

India...incredible!

I have been back from India for just over a week. I’m still trying to sort out in my head everything that I experienced and I should sleep on it some more, but people keep asking what my time was like and I’m looking for a good answer. I keep thinking of two quotes that I mentioned in this post seven years ago after our first month in South Africa. I think they describe how I feel about my brief time in India.

“Traveling is a strange business. To have been in Khartoum is somehow more poignant that being in Khartoum. Being there involves dust, dirt, discomfort, noise, suspect food, dicey water and being homesick. Having been there is amazing. Memory, learning and mind weave together a cloth more fabulous than the indifferent roar of its traffic.”

“If anyone tells you African travel is easy, tell them they know nothing.
If they tell you it's not worth the effort, tell them they still know nothing.
If they've crossed the Nubian Desert pay them due regard."

 I had moments of great enjoyment and sheer amazement and a few moments where I had had enough. At one point I was quite ready to return to the US – something I have rarely experienced when traveling. I always want to stay longer and not return. But now that I am back, I find myself looking through my India guidebook, dreaming and scheming about what I would want to see when I return. Note that I said when I return. India’s siren call is beckoning.

Sign at the airport

And to be honest, I really didn’t see much of India at all (it’s such a large country it is often referred to as its own continent.) I didn’t see any of the sights that most tourists go to India for, but, I did see India. For a few days I was back home in Asia.  I was able to live and breathe the air, the warmth, the chaos, the sounds, the food...the incessant honking…

So here are a few highlights.

The main reason for going to India was to attend a wedding. Aroha and Peter were Andrea’s classmates at Duke and who also live here in DC. After attending Beth and Vincent’s wedding in Switzerland on our nine month wander around the world, we decided that if ever we are invited to a wedding overseas we will go. Unfortunately, this is Andrea’s busiest time of year at work and she was unable to go. So I went to represent!

Peter, Aroha and Aroha's dad at a pre wedding party

But wanting to justify flying away and leaving my wife at home, I was also able to spend a couple days working at my company’s office in Bangalore which is where I began my trip. While there I stayed with another of Andrea’s Duke classmates, Shailesh, and his wife Rohini who were so hospitable and welcoming into their home. I had not spent that much time with Shailesh while in Durham and not ever met Rohini, but I am very privileged to count this couple as dear friends now. I loved listening to them and learning from them. They put up with all my questions and helped me navigate a few places in town – as it seems like I had a string of bad luck getting taxi drivers who did not know where they were going. Anyway, highlight # 1 – Shailesh and Rohini. Rohini has just written Seasons of Trouble, a book about the Sri Lankan civil war that has received critical acclaim around the world.

Rohini and Shailesh at the wedding

 Highlight #2 – Meeting and spending time with my Workplace Options colleagues. Again, in addition to the work I needed to do, I was able to spend time just listening and learning, finding out about their situation and what life looks like for them. A special shout out to Vijeth who fed me lunch every day!

Vijeth and lunch

View of Bangalore from WPO's office

From Bangalore, I flew up to Dehradun (a smaller town of about half a million people about a five hour drive north of Delhi.) The plane landed briefly in Delhi and most people got off while the few of us continuing on to Dehradun stayed on the plane while it was cleaned and prepped for the next leg of the journey.  Aroha’s family generously put all of us out of towners up at a nice hotel for the festivities.

Highlight # 3 was meeting Peter and Aroha's family and friends who had come from all around the world to celebrate the occasion. Peter’s family and friends all went out for dinner the night we arrived in Dehradun and I just remember feeling so happy to be a part of a special group of friends and family. Those of you who know me, know that I am not a big dinner party kind of guy – but this group of friends and family, just clicked. I’ve been to enough dinners and get-togethers where there is a lot of silence and awkward moments – this was not one of them.

Peter and family and friends

Always time for a little cricket...

...until you need to set up for the wedding!

Peter and his family that came from the US

Highlight # 4 – The Main Event. The wedding itself. While there was a party and reception the night before the wedding as well as other pre-wedding ceremonies for both Peter and Aroha, the main event began Saturday evening when those of us representing Peter were driven a few blocks away from the hotel to where a white horse, a brass band, and an incredibly loud PA system was waiting for us. Our task was to be the parade and dance down the street announcing Peter’s arrival to the guests waiting at the hotel. To be surrounded by the band, loud music, and drums - oh and fireworks -was deafening and totally cured me of any residual PTSD that I carry with me. How the horse does it, I don’t know. I think it went deaf a long long time ago. And so we danced and moved ever so slowly to the hotel where the entrance to the lavishly decorated grounds was packed full of guests waiting for the groom's arrival. We pushed (or were pushed) through the crowd, being welcomed and blessed by one of Aroha’s family members and made our way down to the wedding site. And there we joined with hundreds of other guests, young and old, beautifully dressed in colorful saris of every shade, surrounded by pulsating music, lights, flowers and we waited for the bride's entrance. Eventually the music changed and Aroha walked in under a canopy of roses and went and met Peter up on a raised platform. I have never been a part of something so…I don’t even know the words to use.  Needless to say it was amazing. Incredible. Spectacular.  Truly.

Bracelets at the cocktail party

Bracelets and Henna

Pre wedding ceremony

The groom is dressed and ready to go...

...get on his white horse for the procession

Christmas 2014

 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

From literal to figurative deserts, this has been a year of waiting, endurance, and seeking answers. We are grateful for those who have walked with us, prayed for us, and provided encouragement. We are grateful for moments of beauty and reminders in the midst that we are not alone. And we’re grateful for new beginnings as Andrea begins a new position in her office in January.

Many of you will know that over the past few years we have developed a pattern of finding a poem or phrase that becomes our word or mantra for the year. My former boss at the Staff Care Center introduced me to the following poem and it has carried us through the past months. Perhaps it will do the same for you. 

This is the time to be slow / Lie low to the wall / Until the bitter weather passes. / Try as best you can, not to let / The wire brush of doubt / Scrape from your heart / All sense of yourself / And your hesitant light. / If you remain generous / Time will come good; / And you will find your feet / Again on fresh pastures of promise / Where the air will be kind and blushed with beginning / 

(John O’Donohue to bless the space between us: a book of blessings)

Duncan and Andrea

'Tis the Season...

...for catching up on this blog! 

...for choosing the images that go on our compilation card that we began after our trip five years ago...

From a baby panda named Bao Bao (meaning Precious/Treasure) born this year in the DC Zoo and who might be one of the cutest creations ever (seriously go to the National Zoo Panda cam and tell us we are wrong) to a large horse named Andrew, flowers and fruit, trips to Belize, Florida, Amish Country, Durham and Seattle, the images here represent some of the seasons and moments this past year that have brought us joy.

...for cookie decorating. Check out these cookies our next door neighbor dropped off for us! Who does this? Even the elf/gnome (?) has rouge on his cheeks!

...for a newish tradition - finding a poem or phrase that will carry us through the next year. Last year I found two - The Julian of Norwich 'All Shall be Well' quote which we included on our Christmas card and here and the amazing excerpt taken from WH Auden’s For The Time Being: A Christmas Oratorio which I posted here on Geography of Grace, a website I still manage and edit.

This year we have already found the poem courtesy of our friend Deb in Durham. She knows us well. She knows that though life is often challenging, life is also good and so on her Christmas card to us she gave us our poem for the year...

May I Suggest

May I suggest to you

May I suggest (to you that) this is the best part of your life

May I suggest

this time is blessed for you

This Time is blessed and shining

almost blinding bright

Just turn your head

And you'll begin to see

The thousand reasons that were just beyond your sight

The reasons why

Why I suggest to you

Why I suggest this is the best part of your life

- Susan Werner, Sung by Red Molly

Good words for me, for so many reasons! There have been challenges along the way but we know that God continues to be with us and for all this we are grateful. Whether near or far, we send you warm greetings. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Duncan and Andrea
PS - below are a few more photos from this year (that didn't make the Christmas card.)

 We loved the couple trips we were able to take to warm places this year including Belize (see earlier post) as well as four days down in Florida on Pine Island where we went to check out the novelty of mangoes on the mainland - and they did not disappoint!

 We enjoyed seeing our families (Duncan for his dad's 80th Birthday surprise in April - see previous post) and both of us in August. Loved going on a family hike and love this picture of the Wilson- Butler clan.

 And in spite of not enjoying everything about this city we live in, there is much we do enjoy and we have tried to take full advantage of seasons, museums, monuments, gardens, historical sites and activities. Photo above - during the Cherry Tree Blossoms - sometimes you can actually see the blooms in spite of all the people!

In addition to Bao Bao, Rusty the Red Panda also made headlines when he escaped the zoo for a day and wandered around the local neighborhood. This we also followed with great interest.

The Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens is a little known National Park here in DC but is amazing when all the water lilies are in bloom.

At the Library of Congress, with a view of the Capital

Walking through a recent snowfall

We are grateful for your friendship as we continue to tip toe and explore life together. 

So this is Christmas

 We first sent out a 'Christmas' card four years ago, one that we hoped would sum up our year of travel and change as we moved to North Carolina. We've continued doing this since then, choosing photos that best represent the theme and mood of the year.  Here we are again, navigating more change and experiencing our first Christmas in DC.

2012 was a year of change – both geographic and in what we do day in and out. We began the year with 3 months in Thailand, returned to Durham for Andrea to graduate from Duke with a dual MBA and MPP, and then moved to Washington, DC in August. We journeyed through uncertainty and anxiety about the future but ultimately have felt God guiding and directing us. Details of our last year can be found in previous posts here on this site.

Although the last year has been challenging and at times, lonely, we are grateful for the opportunities that continue to unfold as we journey on an unknown path. We echo a quote from Julian of Norwich as we end this year and begin another: 

              “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.” 

This is our prayer for you and us during this season. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Duncan and Andrea
PS. We're including a few fun photos below of one of our recent visits to the White House. Yes, we have managed to go twice (!) in the past month, thanks to one of Andrea's former Duke classmates - once to walk through the West Wing and then a week or so later to view all the Christmas decorations at the "main house." Also below are a couple photos from Zoo Lights at the DC zoo and a view of our building lobby as we were getting ready for the annual holiday party.

Missing You

As I said in the last post, friends are wonderful – and we miss our friends and community in Durham and Raleigh. Our last weeks in North Carolina were hectic but we were able to get some good time in with people that matter – our previously mentioned book group (as a group and individuals) and some other dear friends. It is strange now to be in a city surrounded by thousands of people and realize that (other than a few co-workers) nobody knows me and I don’t know anyone. Moving is lonely. And after starting over in a new place three years ago, it takes a little effort to want to be starting over again now. We’re thankful that our NC friends are only four hours away (ok, six if I-95 is jammed up as it often is for no reason!)

 (Photo's top to bottom - the last picture I took as we left Durham of our driveway and the sun peeking through the trees - i loved where we lived these past three years, our book group - I know I already posted this photo but they are worth posting twice!,  Lunch with wonderful and profound Mary Carol - also of the book  group!)

So here is a list of things I do and will miss from the past three years…

Friends and co workers, Duke Chapel and Congregation, the amazing and wonderful youth of Duke Chapel, our neighbors, our townhouse that was home for the past three years, the cardinals, cat birds and other flying friends who would entertain us taking their baths on our back patio, the lovely blue pool behind our house, NC blue skies and space… the two mile trail I would run through Duke Forest, cheap $5 Duke Performances (where we saw so many amazing performances from Bruce Springsteen to the Carolina Chocolate Drops to Murray Perahia), Duke Gardens – there’s a lot of Duke related things I miss.

I also miss Sam Wells, who left Duke Chapel in May to return to England and take up a post at St Martin-in-the-Fields in London ….quite honestly I cried and was sadder at his departure in May than when we left. (Perhaps in acknowledging the change and loss of this incredible life giving truth speaker, I was also anticipating our potential departure from this community we have found companionship the past three years.) I am excited for the new dean and have high hopes for him but like many at Duke Chapel, I felt Sam’s impact in a significant way and continue to process the gift and the loss of his presence and words even as we anticipate trying to find a church here – something I'm just not looking forward to very much. 

So there's much I miss and this post is about naming some of those people, places and things (even the North Carolina Pine Trees pictured above.)

But Bruce Puckett (who gave me the great opportunity to volunteer with the Duke Chapel youth) and who has done a remarkable job doing the many jobs handed to him in the last couple of years reminded me that in all our searching for and finding community, it is better to have loved and lost…and for this I am thankful. I have been loved and been able to love in return. Our time in NC, though challenging at times (unemployment for a year, difficult school) was a rare gift…which in some ways makes this move to DC more challenging. There is much we look forward to here at this stopping point on our wandering, but I sure miss people and places in NC and look forward to returning often. Here are a couple photos of a few activities we were able to sneak in at the last moment before we left including a paddle down a river and finally (after three years!) a visit to Maple View Farm!

Duncan