Japan for the first time (finally!) / Chefoo Reconsidered Japan (finally!)

Though I have a one year visa I knew that I wouldn't be in Thailand for a full year given important things like 90th birthday and high school graduation celebrations. So I knew I would be in the US from mid April until Mid June for those celebrations. I didn't realize when I arrived in Thailand in January that a couple weeks later I would be flying to Poland for the week and then return for 'take two' as I 'restarted' my time here. And I repeated this pattern when I returned to Thailand in June, spending just ten short days in country, before making my way back to Bangkok and on to Japan for twelve days. However, this was not a last minute trip but rather a trip that had been planned since before Covid rearranged almost everything in the world. 

I've been involved with the Chefoo Reconsidered community in various ways for quite a few years now. In what seems like a lifetime ago (sometime in 2019), the committee that was planning the CR Japan event asked me if I would be interested/willing to facilitate the group sessions during the week long get-together that was planned for June/July of 2020. And then Covid happened and this event that had already been postponed at least once, was push backed again... and again... but finally the the committee (along with Japan, the world and all the powers that be) were able to confirm that at long last we would  be able to gather. And so five years after planning got underway, Chefoo Reconsidered Japan finally happened the week of July 3-7 and it was such a great week on so many levels and definitely worth the wait. 

It was great to be reunited with Elwyn ten Brink who co-led the CR Philippine Bus trip with Jon Fuller and me in 2017. We had been speaking during the past few months as we planned the general direction and content of the week and were both very happy to find ourselves on the same page - desiring to go beyond some of the important TCK information that has been presented at past CR events - to really encourage and give permission to those attending to feel the impact of being sent away to boarding school and being separated repeatedly from our parents. We wanted to offer ways of building resilience and paying attention to our bodies and what they might be telling us - and of course we wanted to include much time for sharing and listening to stories as that is where the real magic and healing happens. 

Planning Committee before everyone arrived (mountain hidden in the background)

The CR Japan planning committee did such a fantastic job planning the events of the week - balancing our structured sessions together along with sightseeing and revisiting familiar places to some and introducing Japan to those of us who did not attend Chefoo Japan. So many details were worked out that just made our time so easy and delightful to be together. There were close to 30 of us who gathered for the week - twelve or so Japan 'kids', six or seven other Chefoo 'kids' and then eight or nine spouses and family members. We stayed at the Onuma Prince Hotel (a step up from CR Malaysia sleeping situations) and held evening sessions at the hotel while having morning sessions at the former Chefoo Nanae school - now being used as a school for Japanese students who have dropped out of the Japanese school system. 

Committee visiting Chefoo before everyone arrived

Welcome dinner at the hotel

First night - Welcome

Arriving at Chefoo

The Yew tree - touchstone for many

And there she is...Chefoo Nanae

Exploring every nook and cranny

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Ouagadougou

West Africa. Check.

A last minute work trip took me to Burkina Faso for a week in March and so I am able to say I have been to a tiny portion of West Africa now. It was a good week with colleagues and one where in spite of the security issues, I was able to experience a little more than just going back and forth between the office and my hotel. I was able to eat at several different restaurants in the evening and went to a gallery of furniture and crafts owned by the son of a man who was the Air France Manager for years in Ougadougou. Mangoes were coming into season and the temperature was hot - 106 F during the day. This of course made me happy as it was not 106 degrees back in DC. 

Of aviation note, I flew there on Air France via Paris. On the return home because of the security situation Air France at the time was not having their flight crew overnight in Ouaga. Instead, they pick up passengers in Ouaga and continue south another hour to Cotonou (another lovely name), Benin, where they switch crew (but don't pick up passengers) and then fly six hours back to Paris instead of the five that it would be from Ouaga. So technically I was in two countries in W. Africa!

Sunset over the Sahara

Ouaga Sunset

My hotel - largest structure for miles

Views from hotel (just a little different than Bangkok the previous month)

Lots of dirt roads

Duncan

India...incredible!

I have been back from India for just over a week. I’m still trying to sort out in my head everything that I experienced and I should sleep on it some more, but people keep asking what my time was like and I’m looking for a good answer. I keep thinking of two quotes that I mentioned in this post seven years ago after our first month in South Africa. I think they describe how I feel about my brief time in India.

“Traveling is a strange business. To have been in Khartoum is somehow more poignant that being in Khartoum. Being there involves dust, dirt, discomfort, noise, suspect food, dicey water and being homesick. Having been there is amazing. Memory, learning and mind weave together a cloth more fabulous than the indifferent roar of its traffic.”

“If anyone tells you African travel is easy, tell them they know nothing.
If they tell you it's not worth the effort, tell them they still know nothing.
If they've crossed the Nubian Desert pay them due regard."

 I had moments of great enjoyment and sheer amazement and a few moments where I had had enough. At one point I was quite ready to return to the US – something I have rarely experienced when traveling. I always want to stay longer and not return. But now that I am back, I find myself looking through my India guidebook, dreaming and scheming about what I would want to see when I return. Note that I said when I return. India’s siren call is beckoning.

Sign at the airport

And to be honest, I really didn’t see much of India at all (it’s such a large country it is often referred to as its own continent.) I didn’t see any of the sights that most tourists go to India for, but, I did see India. For a few days I was back home in Asia.  I was able to live and breathe the air, the warmth, the chaos, the sounds, the food...the incessant honking…

So here are a few highlights.

The main reason for going to India was to attend a wedding. Aroha and Peter were Andrea’s classmates at Duke and who also live here in DC. After attending Beth and Vincent’s wedding in Switzerland on our nine month wander around the world, we decided that if ever we are invited to a wedding overseas we will go. Unfortunately, this is Andrea’s busiest time of year at work and she was unable to go. So I went to represent!

Peter, Aroha and Aroha's dad at a pre wedding party

But wanting to justify flying away and leaving my wife at home, I was also able to spend a couple days working at my company’s office in Bangalore which is where I began my trip. While there I stayed with another of Andrea’s Duke classmates, Shailesh, and his wife Rohini who were so hospitable and welcoming into their home. I had not spent that much time with Shailesh while in Durham and not ever met Rohini, but I am very privileged to count this couple as dear friends now. I loved listening to them and learning from them. They put up with all my questions and helped me navigate a few places in town – as it seems like I had a string of bad luck getting taxi drivers who did not know where they were going. Anyway, highlight # 1 – Shailesh and Rohini. Rohini has just written Seasons of Trouble, a book about the Sri Lankan civil war that has received critical acclaim around the world.

Rohini and Shailesh at the wedding

 Highlight #2 – Meeting and spending time with my Workplace Options colleagues. Again, in addition to the work I needed to do, I was able to spend time just listening and learning, finding out about their situation and what life looks like for them. A special shout out to Vijeth who fed me lunch every day!

Vijeth and lunch

View of Bangalore from WPO's office

From Bangalore, I flew up to Dehradun (a smaller town of about half a million people about a five hour drive north of Delhi.) The plane landed briefly in Delhi and most people got off while the few of us continuing on to Dehradun stayed on the plane while it was cleaned and prepped for the next leg of the journey.  Aroha’s family generously put all of us out of towners up at a nice hotel for the festivities.

Highlight # 3 was meeting Peter and Aroha's family and friends who had come from all around the world to celebrate the occasion. Peter’s family and friends all went out for dinner the night we arrived in Dehradun and I just remember feeling so happy to be a part of a special group of friends and family. Those of you who know me, know that I am not a big dinner party kind of guy – but this group of friends and family, just clicked. I’ve been to enough dinners and get-togethers where there is a lot of silence and awkward moments – this was not one of them.

Peter and family and friends

Always time for a little cricket...

...until you need to set up for the wedding!

Peter and his family that came from the US

Highlight # 4 – The Main Event. The wedding itself. While there was a party and reception the night before the wedding as well as other pre-wedding ceremonies for both Peter and Aroha, the main event began Saturday evening when those of us representing Peter were driven a few blocks away from the hotel to where a white horse, a brass band, and an incredibly loud PA system was waiting for us. Our task was to be the parade and dance down the street announcing Peter’s arrival to the guests waiting at the hotel. To be surrounded by the band, loud music, and drums - oh and fireworks -was deafening and totally cured me of any residual PTSD that I carry with me. How the horse does it, I don’t know. I think it went deaf a long long time ago. And so we danced and moved ever so slowly to the hotel where the entrance to the lavishly decorated grounds was packed full of guests waiting for the groom's arrival. We pushed (or were pushed) through the crowd, being welcomed and blessed by one of Aroha’s family members and made our way down to the wedding site. And there we joined with hundreds of other guests, young and old, beautifully dressed in colorful saris of every shade, surrounded by pulsating music, lights, flowers and we waited for the bride's entrance. Eventually the music changed and Aroha walked in under a canopy of roses and went and met Peter up on a raised platform. I have never been a part of something so…I don’t even know the words to use.  Needless to say it was amazing. Incredible. Spectacular.  Truly.

Bracelets at the cocktail party

Bracelets and Henna

Pre wedding ceremony

The groom is dressed and ready to go...

...get on his white horse for the procession

Return...Reality?

A few shots of our 'Red Tail' including one of us 'slumbering'upstairs...

We should know by now that every time we catch an early morning Northwest/Delta flight from Asia that requires us to be at the airport at 3AM, we never sleep even though we try. We just shouldn't try! However as posted on July 6, we were excited that I got upgraded to Business Class from Singapore to Tokyo. I let Andrea take this leg as I knew I would have it from Tokyo to LAX. However the exit row that Andrea was given from Tokyo to LA was not an exit seat at all but something even worse than a regular seat with a nervous flier on one side and obnoxious ones in front of her. Knowing that Andrea was not having a fun time in the back put a little damper on my experience up top. By the time we arrived in LA we had missed our connecting flight to Seattle and by the time we laid our heads to rest that evening we decided we had been 'up' for 51 hours!

We promptly both got nasty colds which laid us low and has been one of the reasons we are just catching up on the blog now. Haven't really had time to truly reflect and summarize this past year. Andrea wasted no time in starting to take care of the many details involved in starting grad school on the other side of the country. We both have been preparing for the move. We have uploaded a link to some of the photos from our time in Asia that seem to best summarize the past months there - so please enjoy them. And know that we do have a couple more posts coming including the ones we have promised but haven't posted yet - Obama, The Khlong Boat etc...

Duncan

Finally...Bangkok to Butterworth

Wednesday, July 1
Singapore’s Changi Airport lived up to all it’s hype even when we arrived at 3:15 this morning. If only all airports were this great! We were dragging a little but our spirits perked up a little when I was upgraded to business class from Singapore to Tokyo (already had been able to get business from Narita to LAX when we originally booked our tickets.) Andrea was given exit rows which we will also take any day especially since we have lost our elite status this year. (Since we used miles to do this trip this past year, we haven't been able to earn any miles and maintain any sort of elite status – of which one of the many perks is pretty much always being guaranteed to get exit seats for the tall wife.) Seriously, I don’t know why there are still people who fly and don’t keep track of their miles and earning status. Frequent flier plans aren’t what they used to be but if you can get a few little perks in today’s travel, it is worth it. Our flight from Narita is delayed for a couple hours so I am in Delta/Northwest’s swanky Sky Club watching all the activity down on the runway. There’s a post that will come at some point on the Delta/Northwest merger but right now we know there are a few people wanting to know what has happened in the past month. Since we didn’t take our computer with us as we traveled, we had very limited internet activity – but we have been keeping notes and writing some posts so hopefully in the next few days we will catch you up on some of the highlights. We’ve covered a lot of miles and the beds have started to add up again as have the array of experiences and people we have encountered. Apologies if it seems like you are just getting highlights or snapshots of the past month since we checked out of our apartment in Bangkok - you probably are! We’ll do our best...

Monday, May 25
I’ve only done this train journey from Bangkok to Butterworth/Penang in Malaysia one time before. Twenty years ago when I had to do a visa run (leave Thailand to get a new visa) my mom and I made the 24 hour journey. Back then the train wasn’t airconditioned – aircon is nice and keeps you from arriving with black soot in every orifice of your body, but it also keeps out all the sounds and smells of the country as you snake your way down through the fields and jungles of South Thailand into Malaysia.

One vignette from the train…we ended up in a carriage with a large loud tour group from another country close by Thailand. Every country has them whether Americans, Chinese, Vietnamese, you name it – a group of tourists that just don’t represent their country that well and perpetuate whatever particular negative stereotype that exists. This group – especially the men did a grand job of this, taking off their shoes and socks, putting their feet(!) up on the window (something you really don’t do in Thailand…) Needless to say they had not endeared themselves to us. At one point Andrea walked down the carriage to go to the bathroom. Upon return they all started calling (shouting) 'Photo Photo' to her clearly never having seen such a tall white woman. Andrea politely obliged them taking individual photos with each one until one man wanted to get a little close and started puckering up and moving in for a kiss. At this point Andrea drew the line! Did I say the men had all been drinking? No one was intoxicated but they were all in good spirits! They had all been passing around a communal wine glass which they were pouring their country's brand of whiskey. After Andrea returned to her seat, one man needed to do a reshoot so she gamely stood up again. Shortly thereafter another of the men brought us a packet of Ritz crackers to show their gratitude followed by another man who brought me...you know it the communal whiskey glass. Nothing offered to Andrea though! Not being a whiskey lover I did my part not to offend international and cultural relations... and prayed. And this from someone who doesn't drink from the communal communion cup at churches!

My parents went to Penang (an island just off the coast of Malaysia – still often referred to as the Pearl of the Orient) forty years ago for their honeymoon. When my mom and I went we stayed at the YMCA and twenty years later, Andrea and I ended up at their too. Great, cheap, place to stay. Wish the Y’s in the US were a little like this. We didn’t see too much of Penang as we were only there a night – we did walk all around Georgetown and you quickly realize why it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site due to its unique culture and history most clearly revealed in the largest collection of intact pre-WWII buildings (over 1700) that show off the rich diversity of the people and architecture of this island.

Penang is now connected to the mainland with a 13KM bridge in addition to the regular ferries. It is not a sleepy little island any more but it still retains much of its charm. From Penang we caught a bus (about five hours) to the Cameron Highlands, the location of Chefoo School, where I went to elementary school.

(Photo to right - old temple in Penang)

(Photo below -Sign before you board the ferry to Penang - what you can't bring onboard with you - cats, dogs, birds and cows...clearly in the past there were some issues!)

Duncan