Easter / Holy Week 2023

My Easter/holy week began last Sunday in Maehongson at the Huanam Mae Sakud church where Ninae talked about trees in the Bible, taking us from Genesis to Revelation, pausing midway to mention Christmas trees and the connection to the Cross. The Christmas decorations often are still up this time of year at this church but through 'high tech craftsmanship', they were magically transformed into crosses as the kids waved Palm branches while they sang.

Most of the week was spent at the beach which can always be an odd juxtaposition during a week commemorating significant suffering and loss. Yesterday (Holy Saturday) I had two good meals with friends in Bangkok - which is often/usually the best thing to do when suffering loss - be with people and feed yourself. Both the company and the food were so good!

This morning I realized I couldn't face a raucous Easter service but I needed quiet contemplation so I was up early - but definitely not before those sleeping rough on the streets and the street involved - making my way to the first of my favorite three parks here in Bangkok. It was starting to get light as I crept out of my guest house and across the khlong bridge where a neighbor I know from former visits, who is usually intoxicated at most times of the day, was frying up mackerel for the 50-60 cats he feeds, thereby helping to increase the feline population that roam this particular corner outside the temple where he lives.

At each park I joined the early morning walkers and joggers, contemplating/looking for signs of life overcoming death. At Rommaninat Park (stop #3) the site of the former Khlong Prem Prison, this becomes painfully obvious. Initially built by King Chulalongkorn, it was converted and officially opened in 1999 as a beautiful park - but cells and guard towers remain in place. At Saranrom Park there is a beautiful monument that King Chulalongkorn dedicated to his Queen Consort and young daughter who both drowned in a boating accident. (And if you're looking at the map in the photos, I did end up adding a 4th stop to my holy trinity of parks - seriously - if you are ever in Bangkok, they are all worth visiting.)

And so from beginning the week contemplating trees, to being nourished by the waters of Huahin to celebrating Easter walking along the waterways of Bangkok and through the beautiful green oases that contrast with the grit of the city, I am grateful for reminders of life overcoming death, providing reminders that death is not the end and that love wins. Happy Easter!

Duncan

Words that have Sustained - Part 4 - Lent 2022

Round Four of Words that have Sustained - Lent 2022...Prayers and Possibilities...

Phraya Nakhon Cave, Sam Roi Yot National Park, Prachuap Khiri Khan.

3/1

To answer your question,
Yes.

You will die a few more deaths
before your final chapter.

You will stare at the ceiling of
one tomb or another, feel the
gushing roaring ache of
absence.

Don’t let fear become more than
the occasional tightness at the
back of your throat, a
fluttering in the ribcage.

The first death shaped your hands into keys
your shoulder blades into wings
and your heart into a book of poems
that will always remember
the way out.

The first death gave you Life.
Do not lay it down.

- Christa Wells

Posting a couple more shots of Phraya Nakhon Cave because it captures the mood so well.

3/2

Keeping the heart open, even in hell, makes space for the Beloved. It is in the darkest nights of our souls, when all we know is that we know nothing, that the presence of the sacred may quietly well up, mingling with our pain and connecting us to a love that will never die.

Mirabai Starr, WILD MERCY: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics (H/T Christa Wells)

Old steps leading from Wat Phra Non up to Wat Doi KongMu, Maehongson.

3/3

A Prayer

Refuse to fall down
If you cannot refuse to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse to stay down,
lift your heart toward heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled.
You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you from lifting your heart
toward heaven
only you.
It is in the middle of misery
that so much becomes clear.
The one who says nothing good
came of this,
is not yet listening.

- clarissa pinkola estes

While I agree with the last three lines of this poem, only the person going through the suffering/hard time gets to say that to themselves. No one else has the right or should be foolish enough to say that to another person. If they do, they deserve what they get in return!

Maehongson, view from the other angle of the previous photo.

3/4

In our day to day lives, we often show courage without realizing it. However, it is only when we are afraid that courage becomes a question. Courage is amazing because it can tap into the heart of fear, taking that frightened energy and turning it towards initiative, creativity, action and hope. When courage comes alive, imprisoning walls become frontiers of new possibility, difficulty becomes invitation and the heart comes into a new rhythm of trust and sureness. There are secret sources of courage inside every human heart; yet courage needs to be awakened in us. Courage is the spark that can become the flame of hope, lighting new and exciting pathways in what seemed to be dead, dark landscapes.

JOHN O'DONOHUE

I had lined up a few initial poems and prayers for this series of 'Words' as the last round ended - I am struck by how many of these initial ones speak to the courage/light/darkness we are witnessing in Ukraine. These are not the traditional sunflowers being posted in solidarity with Ukraine, but rather Tithonia diversifolia (sometimes called Mexican Sunflower or tree marigold) that blanket the hills in a few areas in North Thailand in November and December.

3/5

WAITING TO GO ON
It must be
we are waiting
for the perfect moment.

It must be
under all the struggle
we want to go on.

It must be,
that deep
down
we are creatures
getting ready
for when
we are needed.

It must be
that waiting
for the listening ear
or the appreciative word,
for the right woman,
or the right man,
or the right one,
or even
the right moment
just to ourselves,

-we are getting ready
to be ready
and nothing else-

Like this moment
just before
the evening light
arrives
working
by the kitchen
window,

sensing
a deep
down symmetry
in every
blessed thing.

The way
that everything
unbeknownst
to us
is preparing
to meet us too.

Just on the other
side of the door
someone
is about to knock
and our life
is just
about to change

and finally
after all these
years rehearsing,
behind
the curtain,

we might
just be
ready
to go on.

From ‘Waiting to Go On’: in ‘River Flow:
New and Selected Poems’
© David Whyte and Many Rivers Press

My friend Pan who is as gentle with people as he is with this old beach dog on the beach in Pranburi, Thailand.

3/6

Be content to live an anonymous, unspectacular, misunderstood life among people...
Let Christ transfigure the darkness in ourselves & in the world.
Let there be great care to maintain the simplicity of presence...
Love what is obscure & little for there you will find Christ.

- Celtic Daily Prayer Book 2

Just downstream from the Maesagna waterfall, Maehongson 

3/7

When the mind is festering with trouble or the heart torn, we can find healing among the silence of mountains or fields, or listen to the simple, steadying rhythm of waves. The slowness and stillness gradually takes us over. Our breathing deepens and our hearts calm and our hungers relent. When serenity is restored, new perspectives open to us and difficulty can begin to seem like an invitation to new growth.

This invitation to friendship with nature does of course entail a willingness to be alone out there. Yet this aloneness is anything but lonely. Solitude gradually clarifies the heart until a true tranquility is reached. The irony is that at the heart of that aloneness you feel intimately connected with the world. Indeed, the beauty of nature is often the wisest balm for it gently relieves and releases the caged mind.

-JOHN O'DONOHUE
Excerpt from his books, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace (US) / Divine Beauty (Europe)

Krung Thep Mahanakon

Bangkok, three in one...

Some of you might have seen that the powers that be in the Thai government decided this last month to change the official name of the capital from  Bangkok to Krung Thep Mahanakon (City of Angels) ...but 'Bangkok' will still be officially recognized. This of course caused some confusion much like the ever changing entry requirements into the country. (Vaccinated visitors can now enter again with just one night quarantine and a pcr test upon arrival. But I digress.) And Krung Thep is really the shortened version of the city's much longer full name and still perhaps the longest place name in the world which gives young TCK's bragging rights when they can rattle it off... Krung Thep Maha Nakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit.

After my initial nine days in Phuket, I have spent the last month in Bangkok Krung Thep back at Innspire, the guest house I spent the three months in last year. Bop the manager is still holding on as well as the ten million cats in the neighborhood. A few more tourists can be seen, some tourist venues have reopened and some didn't survive the six months since I was last there. I've resumed running along the khlongs and through the sois often ending up at a trio of parks that anchor the extended neighborhood. 

Listed as one of the 'Large' trees of Bkk, it's hard to capture how big (and old) this Tamarind tree is... at one of my favorite parks!

In things that might interest particular readers of this blog, I have had two 'bird' encounters. The first occurred when I was running along side the river and a pigeon flew directly into my face (clearly not watching where he was going!?) Never have I been more thankful to be wearing a mask! Yes, masks are still required here and even in 97 degree weather there's a lot less fuss about wearing them than other parts of the world! 

The confused look after being hit square in the face by a pigeon!

My second bird experience (and way cooler than the pigeon encounter) was going with Iven and his three boys to the airplane graveyard - a place I had heard of but never seen - even though I had been very close to it several times and just never realized it. It's actually quite easy to find and if you drive by on the right street, you can't miss it the remnants of a couple planes including a 747 just cut up and parked in the middle of the city. Maybe there were plans at one point - maybe not - but for now (and the past ten years or so) an enterprising family has been 'squatting' on the property and will charge you 200 Baht to come in and explore. Given that they were young teenagers, they took the safety of the boys quite seriously telling us not to go in certain areas as it wasn't safe.  Contrary to some online opinion the family was totally friendly and non threatening - but again we treated them with respect and were quite happy to pay for this unusual and very cool experience. 

I know that I still haven't updated the blog from the three months last year and I had barely introduced Iven and Kashmira and their kids but certainly the point of being back in their neighborhood again was to hang out with the HFam. Our shared story is worthy of it's own post one day as it's truly a remarkable story that I am so grateful for. Neither of us realized how our lives would intersect over the course of this past year. So most/much of my time has been spent with them help as I could as they packed up their lives and returned to the US after living in Thailand for 15 years. As part of their leaving process they spent a week at the Juniper Tree at Dolphin Bay south of Huahin. They invited a few friends (including me) to spend some days with them which was an additional unexpected gift. 

Sunrise - Dolphin Bay

One day we went to Sam Roi Yot National Park specifically to see Phraya Nakhon Cave, which often appears in Thai tourist advertising as it is really quite unique and beautiful and serves as the main attraction. Depending on how it's explained, either the roof of the cave collapsed or it's a sink hole - but either way - it's a mighty big cave and having no roof has allowed trees to grow inside. In the cave, there is a four-gable roofed royal pavilion built in 1890 for King Rama V's visits. It's a pretty iconic and photogenic place to hang out. 

Other days this past month were more mundane - but, really this city is never mundane - it's why I enjoy it so much. And being with the HFam is certainly not mundane. They left this week and one of the gifts of my time with them this time was being able to support them and their kids as an adult TCK who has walked a similar road of leaving a place deeply loved...

Two other non mundane things - 1) meeting up with childhood friend Gordan Ellard after close to 30 years - Gordon was my classmate at Chefoo and is now owns a restaurant and a swimming school/business here in Bangkok. 

And...last and definitely least, experiencing a reverse flow/volcanic squat pot toilet on the banks of the Chao Phraya river...the river was quite high and the waves were choppy and every time I would hear the wave outside, the toilet would geyser up inside. I was thankful to not be squatting!

Until next time...

Duncan

Innspire and Coincidences

And on the 8th day I was released from captivity...and after a couple nights in the Sukhumvit area, I made the move westward on Saturday toward the Chao Phraya river and the oldest part of Bangkok where my friends Iven and Kashmira (and their six delightful children) live, in a very typical old town neighborhood in Phra Nakhon. Iven and Kashmira are friends who I met here 12 years ago (pre-children) and who also call Seattle one of their home bases, though I have never seen them there - only here in Bangkok! They are very intentional, genuine followers of Jesus who I really like. They have walked with me this past year from Thailand and I am grateful for their input into my life. You might recall that they came to visit me two years ago when I was doing the rice growing season up in Maehongson - which certainly cultivated my connections with them and their kids. I have stayed in their neighborhood before which though just minutes to the Grand Palace and other major tourist sites in BKK is a very Thai non touristy part of Bangkok. 

Though many in their neighborhood barely hold on to life at times, it is a place that draws me and where I feel a measure of peace. It is a place that is very different from the 23rd floor of the Double Tree quarantine hotel. Perhaps it is a liminal space. I don't think it is a coincidence that I am here. I also don't think it is a coincidence that I have ended up staying at a guest house called Innspire. AND I am their first guest in a year. The realities of Covid and its effects on shutting tourism down are very very stark throughout Bangkok. While I take no pleasure in any of the suffering that so many are facing, it is a very unique time to be here.

And I am the ONLY one staying in this 9 room guest house that once was a house that palace employed actors and artisans stayed many decades ago. Did I say I am the only one here?! Literally. The manager met me, walked me around, gave me the key and said the place is yours. He shows up to make breakfast for me - which will soon end, because that's just silly - I can take care of myself! On the other side of the wall is khlong/canal that runs into the Chao Phraya river, it also connects with the Saen Saeb canal (for those familiar with Bangkok.) There's a temple on on the other side of the khlong, lots of cats, lots of all kinds of community hanging out, big fish and monitor lizards in the khlong (not quite as large as the recent 7-11 star on social media if you happened to see that video) And Iven and Kashmira's place is a 5 minute walk away past people selling amulets and random found and repurposed items that are spread out on mats on the sidewalk, women sitting on plastic chairs selling themselves, and of course many many food carts...as I said, it is a liminal space.

I know I am a visitor here at the moment and I'm not engaged in anyone's story - though I have heard many stories over the years from I and K - other than mine. But it is to this place that I have felt drawn though it is far from the peaceful forests and rice fields up north. And so I will try to be present to the gifts and the needs around me and to attend to my spirit and soul and listen and be present to the movement of the Spirit that leads and guides and gives life - even in a place where many only would see death and much much pain.

Breakfast fruit at Innspire

Duncan