Funerals and Friends

 I've been to a several Thai funeral cremations in the past. Most Thai towns and villages have an outdoor location, where after several nights (usually three) of funeral rituals and activities at the temple, the casket and body are taken and burned. Any remaining ashes and bones are gathered up the next day after the ashes are cool. 

When I first arrived here in January I noticed a tractor clearing a large plot of land next to one of the temples by the lake. I thought construction was going to begin on a new building or something - well I was partially correct as they were clearing the land for the cremation of one of the highest ranking (perhaps the highest ranked) Buddhist abbot in Maehongson province who had died some 100 days ago. Eventually an elaborate ornate funeral pyre was built and after a week of ceremonies and holding vigil, the cremation time was set for 3PM, Sunday February 12. The body and casket was pulled in a lengthy procession the day before and lay in rest overnight - lit up by ever changing lights. 

The grounds were set up with tents and pavilions for the many who would attend including the many food and drink stalls. (Hint - if you ever find yourself in Thailand and you are starving, all food and drink is usually provided free at a funeral.) I don't pretend to understand all that was said and done with many many dignitaries and hundreds of monks some from around the country (the abbot was a big deal) but eventually after all the officials had finished paying their final respects, everyone else was invited to come up and do the same. As the crowds surged toward the pyre, many others began removing elements from the pyre - ornaments, decorations, a truck pulled up and loaded up all the potted plants and flowers - and soon though still quite ornate, it was a little more bare. 

By this time the fire department was also in attendance and at three pm the official 'fire starter' appeared to do final checks. Once the ok was given, another senior monk lit a torch from a candle at one of the covered tents a couple hundred feet away from the pyre where all the priests were sitting and this was raised to a fuse that was lit and then like a screaming rocket went zipping across the now empty field toward the pyre. It zigged and zagged around the pyre until it rocketed into the top of the fire and instantly everything was an inferno. At the same time, huge bomb like fireworks were being set off into the sky. (see videos below) The fire fighters were in place for whenever the conflagration got a little too big and another fire truck began spraying water in the air over the tents where most of the people sat as hot ash was beginning to rain down on them. 

And then it was over - all the people left and the fire kept burning into the night. It was a dramatic, sensational send off but as far as I could tell, not very personal. 

The following Saturday night, six days after the abbot's cremation, my friend Nittaya's mother died relatively suddenly after a short battle with cancer. Mother Ing had originally come to Thailand from a church in Burma that was started by Dr. John Webb (this will only mean something to a few of you.) I've known Nittaya for many years but only met her mom in the past few years as I have been here in Thailand more frequently. What was so impressive about Mother Ing's funeral is how quickly the local Christian/church community came together to support Nittaya and her family and ensure that all details were worked out. I believe she died around 10PM Saturday night. The following morning there was a meeting at 5AM where my friend P Toi and others helped plan the three nights of vigil including all the food preparation, who would preach, who would lead the music. By the time I arrived at Mother Ing's house at 4PM Sunday afternoon, crowds were already there, her casket was beautifully decorated with flowers and food was being prepared. 

Nittaya

I admit I am challenged (and encouraged) when I see how the Christian community gathers together to support each other. I want to hold onto my western sensibilities and boundaries and say I can't commit to three evenings of activities - but they willingly and joyfully give of their time and energy.  Each evening followed a similar format of eating, someone preaching, and some singing. 

On the third night when I arrived - a special dish (Gaeng Hanglay) was being prepared to feed everyone the following morning after the burial. It simmered all night and was ready by noon the next day.

Resting after tending the fires all night

Burials are much less common even for Christian deaths and permission is usually needed from village leadership but since Nittaya's parents lived on a large hillside this permission was given. The following morning (day 4 if you're counting) after another service, the casket was carried up the steep hillside to where a crypt had been prepared. Everyone crowded around, final roses laid on top and then the heavy concrete lid was cemented on. 

No big pyrotechnics but a quiet remembrance of a woman who many loved. Nittaya and her family are loved in the greater community, so much of the respect paid is in honor of her. 

As I write this in mid March, sometimes I feel like I'm not being super productive here - I speak with a few clients, I study some Thai, I walk/run, find food to eat - but then I remember there is a lot going on... not least of which are three day funerals. Last week was the end of the school year so final exams and graduations of  friends kids were happening. At the beginning of the month I had an overnight camping trip. There are sports days and birthdays and as the heat starts to turn up, it's also the beginning of swimming in the river season! (No pics yet but see this link for photos from last year.) Thankfully the nights and mornings are still somewhat cool. Here are a few more photos of a few friends of mine.

Ida and Ann

P Toi

Mana, Wi, Korya

Wi telling her dad, he made the basket too big...

disassembling...

Korya and cousin Bell (above) share a birthday but not a cake!

Chaem, who works at the guest house, cutting open a coconut

Longtime friend Pin and her husband stopped by to visit

Sports day!

Betong at sports day

Mana studying for final exams

Uncle Yu - chef/owner of one of my regular lunch spots - preparing pickled mango

Last year when I was here, I went to her sister's 6th grade graduation. This year I was grateful to celebrate Korya's 9th grade graduation - after many years in Thailand I just learned that students in Thailand often have two graduation ceremonies in high school, one after 9th grade (M3) as that is when compulsory education ends and then another one upon completion of 12th grade (M6).  Now you know.

Duncan