As a therapist I often meet with individuals who are dealing with depression but I’m no stranger to it myself. Winston Churchill described his bouts with depression as a visit by the “black dog.” My experience is more of a grey fog. I’m probably more accurately diagnosed as having occasional dysthymia – a low grade depression – one that allows me to function for the most part – not super high, not super low – just ok, but usually feeling just a little blah. The fog analogy works well for me – imagine a grey thickness hovering close to the ground that sometimes reduces visibility, blocking out the sun, leaving you feeling sluggish and weighed down.
One winter a couple years ago I had a particularly bad week. It was dark and cold (as winters often are) and I experienced several frustrating encounters with a coworker, but mainly I just felt bad, weighed down and lacking energy. It felt like I was covered in a heavy x ray protective apron – but instead of protecting me from radiation, I felt as if it exposed me and all my inner turmoil for everyone to see. I knew that I was experiencing a more acute moment of depression. (And, surprise, surprise, depression can make you more sensitive to others remarks and more liable to misinterpretation.)
My experience that year brought into focus what is helpful when we find ourselves feeling depressed. Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words to say to someone when they are experiencing depression. Sometimes the grip of depression can feel and be very powerful. But there are things that can help in a very practical way. Wherever you or a loved one might be on the depression spectrum, there are several things you can pay attention to – I call them the P’s of depression – that can be instrumental in helping you or others navigate depression with integrity and health.
SymPtoms
Depression (which is much more than sadness, something we all experience at different times) can show up with many symptoms including: loss of interest in typical activities, loss of energy and appetite, a ‘closing in’ or ‘closing down’, sleep changes (including difficulty going to sleep, staying asleep or wanting to sleep much more), a physical sensation, a weight, anger and irritability, feeling helpless and hopeless.
Depression is personal and unique. Though there are common causes and symPtoms, depression can affect each of us in different ways. Thus I believe that the treatment of depression will also be personal and unique, though there are some general ideas and solutions to pay attention to that may be helpful.
Precipitators (Common Causes)
PROBLEM – There can often be a very real and specific problem that is affecting your mood and emotion. This can be a PHYSICAL health issue or a PERSONAL relationship or PARTICULAR situation that is causing PAIN and pain is very real. Any loss can lead you in the direction of depression
PURPOSE – Depression can occur when you don’t feel like you have a PURPOSE – whether that is because of a change in your family, job or a variety of other reasons. If you feel like your PRESENCE is not valued or you don’t know your PLACE anymore this can affect your purpose in life.
PRECIPITATION – You may laugh, but once I left the gray and cloudy Pacific Northwest and moved to the East Coast, my overall countenance improved. My wife and I joked that we literally saw the light. I was never officially diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but having more sun helps and I don’t miss the gray!
Depression – The P’s that can help (in no order of importance)
1. Psychologist/Psychiatrist/TheraPy – This might be the most readily encouraged solution and there’s a reason for that. Talking to someone can help. Talking to someone who is trained in the ways of the human mind and heart and knows how to be helpful is even better. And if that helpful person is also a medical doctor he or she can do a physical evaluation to assess if hormones and chemicals are in balance and prescribe medication if it is needed. (see #2)
2. Prescription – I’m not a pill pusher, but I’m also not a pill avoider. We are probably over diagnosed and overprescribed in this country, but medication can be very helpful in many situations. Don’t discount it, but do know that it might take some time and adjusting to find the right medication and dose for you.
3. Purpose – Losing your sense of purpose can quickly take you to dark places. I find that when I start to sink, it’s because I feel like I don’t have a purpose. I can quickly spiral down wondering what I am doing with my life. Do you need to make a change as a result of a circumstance that has changed? Or do you need to pay attention to #4 and #5 – ways that you can be reminded what your purpose is.
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