Marriage Encounter

It’s kind of random and kind of cool that on each of the three continents that we have wandered, we have been able to attend a conference of one kind or another – AND largely for free which we are super grateful for as well! (If you missed the first two – Youth Compass in Italy and the Ujamma Center in South Africa, Click on the Meina and Ujamma Center labels on the side of the screen.) Our latest conference was the ALMA Marriage Encounter usually associated with Christian Missionary Alliance denomination/churches. If you google ALMA Marriage Encounter you won’t find too much information as they really want everything to be somewhat of a surprise for the participants. I think ALMA weekends are being presented in over 20 countries including the US and Canada – as well as here in Thailand where it has been held for perhaps the last 8-9 years. Throughout the weekend there are presentations given by 4 couples who share their stories, then time is given to the participants individually and as couples to reflect on what they have heard. We want to honor their request to not give too much information away but it was a fascinating 48 hours.

We were actually invited by our Thai teacher Oo and his wife Nu, who became our ‘sponsors.’ They are quite heavily involved in it after attending a weekend three years or so ago. We weren’t sure what we were going to encounter but we could tell Oo really wanted us to go and we were encouraged by our friends Iven and Kashmira (who had also been previously) to attend if we had even a slight interest in seeing and experiencing a marriage encounter weekend from a Thai perspective. While we do have a few reservations and concerns about context and how some of the stories were presented, we both feel it is a vital and worthwhile tool here in Thailand where not many tools exist (let alone a toolbox) to help anyone’s marriage. The weekend encourages couples to talk about difficulties and challenges in their lives, of which there are many here in Thai society and culture. Andrea has already written a little on the overwhelming nature and prevalence of the sex trade in previous posts. While it is often the foreign sex tourists that receive the most press, the reality is that 80-90 percent of the customers (those buying sex) are Thai men. It is accepted and almost expected reality here that many (I’m trying to be careful with my words here – perhaps the majority of) Thai men but of course not all, will “explore” both before and after marriage.

We walked away from the conference realizing that this is also true within Thai Christian culture even among pastors. While it may not be accepted, it is a reality that it is not surprising to any if not expected. This was startling to us. But to hear the presenting couples during the weekend share as candidly and frankly as they did was even more startling. Such open sharing just does not happen within the culture here especially within a Christian setting where even more so than in the west, there is the desire and expecation of needing to have it all together. The stories that the couples shared and the conversations that came from them would be difficult for many of us who have grown up in a self reflecting and sharing kind of world. To see this happen here was pretty amazing, but as mentioned earlier, not without concern. But given the overwhelming statistics and issues of adultery, abuse and AIDS and the silence that often greets these issues, we are glad ALMA is here and doing what it is doing!

It was good for us to see and experience it and despite the intensity of the weekend (not much down time) it was a gift for us to be away at a hotel – and run the air con the whole time! (We just turn it on in our apartment before we go to bed!) Oo and Nu were lavishly generous with us as sponsors giving us all sorts of edible treats(as you can see in the picture) throughout the weekend!

Duncan